An Exposé

Sometimes I feel like I'm going to burst because I have so many thoughts about so many topics! I've always used writing as a way to express myself, process my emotions, tell stories and share life experiences with others. There is no activity that makes my spirit soar or that brings out my passion for life more than writing.

In this blog, I have chronicled our family adventures so that we might share and preserve memories. Recently, I believe the Lord has been stirring me to use my love for writing to share more of my heart, specifically what He is teaching me so it might be an encouragement to others.

Recently, I've realized that I'm a private person. I'm an introvert by nature, despite my very outgoing personality, and have a few close confidants that have seen me at my best and my worst. I cope with the struggles in life by choosing joy (the joy of the Lord is my strength!) and focusing on the positive which, unfortunately, can be preceived as superficiality.

So here is the truth. I feel emotions very deeply. I have very strong opinions about most everything. I'm very passionate about being a godly wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. I want to share what the Lord is doing in my life. I want to be open and genuine. I LOVE people and love talking to them about anything, even the silly stuff. I want to meet people where they are. So I ask you, dear reader, to meet me where I am.

I will not always express my opinion right away, if at all. I pick and chose my battles very carefully. I care more about people and relationships than I care about my preferences or getting my way all the time. This does not mean I'm a pushover.

I will not talk about controversial topics in a group, if at all. Its my way of being considerate of the opinions of others and preventing myself from saying something I may regret later.

I avoid drama because its damaging and a waste of my time. It sucks the joy out of life and fosters things that aren't pleasing to the Lord: selfishness, pride, gossipping and discontentment, to name a few.

I am totally in love with my husband. He demonstrates the Lord's love to me in amazing ways. We have an incredible love story and it keeps getting better! We are NOT perfect, but we understand that we are in a covenant relationship and we work to have a great marriage daily!

I'm a new mom! I have a precious little daughter and she is beautiful in every way. I love being her mother and taking care of her! Does this mean I don't get impatient and exhausted? No! But when she is content and looks up a me with her big blue eyes and a gummy smile, its all worth it! She is a priceless gift!

The Lord has given me an amazing community of friends and family, near and far. I love that doing life together doesn't have to be limited to a specific place!

I've worked several jobs in my life: camp counselor, post office student worker, Marketing Director and Office Coordinator. The Lord has used each of these jobs to teach me so much! I've learned my strengths, my weaknesses and how to work alongside people who are different than me. My favorite job is what I get to do now: being a stay at home wife and mom. Serving my favorite people through everyday tasks is so fun!

I'm a huge nerd. I get super excited about anything to do with history and can map out, in detail, troop movements during most major Civil War battles. I love libraries, the smell of old books and reading. I fall asleep reading every night. I am a polical junkie and get a little too excited about Saturday Night Live political parodies! I am also a huge movie fan (like any self proclaimed nerd, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are up there!) and can quote most of the dialogue from my favorites. However, I can't stand when people quote movies out loud while the movie is playing!!!

I desire to be a lady. Etiquette is important. Its not meant to be a set of constricting rules, but to outline behavior that puts others at ease because they know what to expect. It is all about being considerate of others. Elegance is a combination of knowing these rules and being confident in who you are as a woman. I believe that there is an appropriate time and place for everything.  I'm thankful that this training has been passed down through the generations of women in my family.

I love good food! Cooking and eating delicious food is something I enjoy immensely, especially when its with someone I love. No matter what culture you're from, food and fellowship always go together!

Sports are not a part of my every day life. I don't have an allegiance to a particular team of anything. However, I really enjoy going to sporting events and get really into them! I embarrass whoever I'm with by yelling at the top of my lungs at the players (like they can really hear me!).

The outdoors are so fun! I enjoy camping, hiking, biking and anything on the water. Allergies limit my ability to do these activities sometimes, but I love outdoor adventures! I also feel closest to the Lord when I'm surrounded by His creation.

Most importantly, I desire to follow Christ with all that I am and to continually be transformed into his likeness. I am so far from perfect and want my life to be a testimony of His grace and kindness. He has blessed me so abundantly and is everything to me. I'm constantly learning!

Join me in this new adventure!

Claudia Grace Ward

On October 10, 2014 at 7:57 p.m., our lives were forever changed as we heard the first adorable cries of our little girl and welcomed her into the world. It is hard to believe that it has been 5 weeks since then! I've been wanting to write this post for a while!

Let's rewind to the week before Claudia was born. I was HUGE (which is hilarious, considering that Claudia was a small baby!) and felt like I could go into labor at any second. Any time I was out in public, I prayed that my water wouldn't break. There was a lot of lounging on the couch, take out, Netflix, ice cream and impatience. There wasn't a lot of sleep, comfort or rest. It was so hard not knowing when I would go into labor- it can really mess with the mind! I sincerely hoped that Claudia would arrive on time, instead of a week late (like I was!). Austin and I were living minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

In the very early hours of Wednesday, October 8th, I felt a strange sensation in my lower back that moved to my front. Then about 20 minutes later I felt it again. My contractions had begun! We went to the doctor's office when it opened that morning to get things checked out. It was determined that I was in the very early stages of labor, but was sent home until things progressed further and my contractions were more regular.

Mom and Larry decided to go ahead and drive to Jackson from Atlanta, since they were the family members that had to travel the furthest distance. There was very little action the rest of the day until about 1:30 a.m. The contractions came back, this time more intense and more regular. We timed them, called the doctor on call and were told to go ahead and come to the hospital. So, in an excited rush, off we went. Several hours later we were back home again. I had not progressed at all and the contractions weren't intense enough. In the words of the physician, I wasn't to come back to the hospital until they were so bad that I couldn't talk or walk through them. That was scary to hear! And it really is the pits when you are rejected from the hospital!

So we waited. Sure enough, that night, about 2 a.m. we went back to the hospital and stayed! As soon as I was admitted, I got some pain medication to "help take the edge off" and some anti-nausea medication. Although the medicine helped some, I still felt everything and was sooo glad when I got to the point where I could receive an epidural. At that point, I'd been in labor for three days and hadn't really slept at all! Once the pain went away, I was able to rest! It was so wonderful!

Besides periodical checking from our nurse, once I received the epidural, things were very relaxed and calm in our room. We watched a couple of movies and just hung out. My regular ObGyn was the one on call (that was definitely a God thing!) and he elected to let me progress on my own instead of giving me medicine to speed up the labor. So, I progressed until about 6 p.m. when I was told it was time to start pushing.

Just under two hours later, our daughter was born! Hearing her cute little cry was a moment I'll cherish forever. I couldn't see her at first, but when I did, I stared at her, so overwhelmed with the knowledge that I was finally meeting my precious daughter. Of course, I cried tears of joy! As the nurses cleaned her and weighed her, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I couldn't believe how tiny and how perfect she was. I felt, and still feel, like the most blessed woman in the world.

Introducing Claudia Grace Ward! 6 lbs, 12 oz and 20 inches long! 

The next few days brought a flurry of family and friends, all sharing in our joy at Claudia's arrival! Their presence and excitement meant so much to us. We are so thankful that Claudia was born healthy and safely. Our nurse, Katelyn, was absolutely precious and was the perfect person to minister to us that day. Dr. Ball, my wonderfully knowledgeable and gifted doctor, was the one on call and delivered her. Before he left, he prayed with us, asking the Lord to grant us wisdom as parents and that Claudia may come to know Jesus at an early age. The nurses and other staff that attended to me while we were there were so kind and patient! We really had a great experience, and we thank the Lord for that! 

We brought Claudia home on Sunday, October 12. Mom, Larry, Dad and Mary were here to greet us and had decorated the mailbox, door, and inside the house! There was also an ice cream cake to celebrate. 

I'm so very thankful that my mom was able to take off work and stay with us for the first two weeks at home! We really couldn't have made it without her! My recovery was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. The first week was especially hard. After that, though, things began to improve day by day. They have been doing that ever since. 

5 weeks down the road, I can't imagine life without our little precious love. Sure, adjusting to parenthood hasn't been easy (I've never been more exhausted in my life- including when I was a camp counselor!), but in the moments that she's snuggled up next to me, or when I see her experience the world around her, or when she makes cute little faces, all I can think about is how much I love her and the joy that she brings to our family! 

Here are some of my favorite pictures of her so far: 

She has stolen my heart! She was about a week and a half old in this picture! 

I love her scandalized expression!! Following a bath at 2.5 weeks old! 

Such a happy baby!!! 4 weeks old! 

The struggle of putting on receiving gowns is real! This was taken last week (at almost 5 weeks!)

By looking at these pictures, it would be easy to get a very romanticized impression of Claudia and of our lives the past 5 weeks. I have been in more physical pain, cried, experienced every emotion under the sun, been dependent on others, felt like I have no idea what I'm doing, and been more tired than I ever have in my life up until this point. It hasn't been pretty. It's been messy (complete with blowout diapers and lots of baby laundry!). We're finding a new normal. But, there is such beauty even in the hard stuff. The Lord is constantly teaching me about dependence on Him. I'm coming to understand the Lord as a parent in a whole new way. 

Austin has been such an example of the Lord's patience and love throughout everything. Nothing makes my heart happier than to see him love our little girl. The sweet moments will be the ones I will remember from this season- and there are so many sweet moments! I am still so humbled that the Lord has granted me a desire of my heart- to be a mother. I pray that I can be faithful in that role! 

Welcome to the world and to our family, Claudia Grace Ward! You were totally worth the wait!